Drifting....

Do you ever feel like you're drifting?  Trying to make it upriver, but with only one oar?

The current is too strong for you.  You try as hard as you can, but in the end it isn't enough and you just float.  Not going up.  Not going down.  Just drifting.

You're scared to stop straining for the river's start because you know if you do, you'll be pushed to the Atlantic.  Pacific.  Or maybe you're on the Styx and you won't go anywhere.  You'll just disappear.

But you're scared to keep trying, because strength can't last long without a helping hand.  Is it better to try until your strength is wasted on a useless pursuit, or to simply sooner accept your predetermined fate and fade into the oblivion?

But there's a saying.  A very simple saying that goes "you'll never know until you try."  

Yeah, so I have the worst memory in the world, and maybe that's the only saying I can think of.  But it works.

Because once you continue on, you find another person in a boat just like yours.  Drifting, trying to make it upriver, but with only one oar.

And you realize that you're the same.  That both of you can lend a hand.

So you take your oar and your helping hand.  You take your strength, your knowledge, your determination, and everything else that kept your boat afloat, and jump to the other.  You don't look back.  And that boat that you left behind, with the puddle in the bottom that refused go away and the poorly painted sides with a name long gone, is taken by the river.  And yet you still don't turn your head, because you know that this new boat is better, even with its dingy sides and moldy wood, because in this boat now there are two oars.  And four hands to guide them.

This boat is stronger than it seems (hopefully).

Because I know my friends are precious and I appreciate them every moment of this life and if they ever leave me I'll just turn to tears and the current will wash me away and I won't even be drifting anymore, I'll just be gone.

ADRIFT! A little boat adrift!
And night is coming down!
Will no one guide a little boat
Unto the nearest town?
So sailors say, on yesterday,	5
Just as the dusk was brown,
One little boat gave up its strife,
And gurgled down and down.
But angels say, on yesterday,
Just as the dawn was red,	10
One little boat o’erspent with gales
Retrimmed its masts, redecked its sails
Exultant, onward sped!

WHAT is so wrong with EQUALITY??

Is there something so wrong in wanting to be treated the same as you treat others?

Why do parents deserve more respect than they give their children?  If anything, refusing the child respect brings them down -- and everyone around them.

People could be so great if only others believed in them.  What is all this "you're crazy" or "that's impossible, I'd like to see you try".  Why can't I?  Why can't I be the one to, I don't know, invent a time machine or the first virtual reality?

People wish so much for change, but their belief in failure is too big.  They don't even try.  They tell themselves, and everyone who even thinks to attempt something new, that they're the ones who are supposed to sit on the sidelines watching the geniuses do all the work.  But where did all these geniuses come from?  They can't all be.  A lot of them are ordinary people who told themselves that they wanted something new, and that's what they got.

Ok, this isn't even talking about equality anymore...ugh, but I'm really strong about this too.  If you want something to change, YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.  Don't come complaining to me about so-and-so who refuses to do blah if you haven't tried to do something against it yet.  I won't listen.  I will want to slap you in the face so you get some sense into your head AND YES THIS IS WHAT I'M SAYING EVERYTIME SOMEONE DOES THIS.  If you can't handle it, then do something about it.  If you won't, then shut up cuz you'd better accept it.

And don't tell anyone that something is impossible!!  It's as possible as you make it.  If you try hard enough, IT WILL HAPPEN.  Maybe not exactly as you want it, but as close as possible.  And if you haven't gotten there yet, keep trying, cuz it's not your fault.  It's all the people saying nay to your hard work.  If you can get past them, than you're stronger than any of them have a right to be.  Yes, I will accept that some things are beyond the capabilities of the human race and individuals.  But people dream big for a reason, don't they?  Shoot for the moon, and if you miss, you'll land among the stars.  You'll never know how far you can get if you never try, right?  So why don't you?  What's holding you back, people without enough courage to go out and try themselves?

And back to equality.  What gives some people more of a right to be treated with respect?  What's with stereotypes?  Why do people have to go, "oh, I'm not racist, but that's just how (insert race here) are."?  HAH, you are the racist one.  (and the one keeping others from being able to change -- yah tying it back -- because of your SILLY assumptions)  Give people as much respect as you would like them to give yourself.  Don't hate simply because they're "inferior".  Don't assume they're useless because they can't do what you can do.  Everyone has their own skills.  Even though they may not be evident, they are there.  Just because someone is super smart doesn't mean they're more talented than someone else.  I could be a genius gingerbread-baker.  Or toenail clipper.  Why don't those occupations receive as much merit as an intellectual?  It's not how much they show it, or how much it affects you, it's how much you appreciate the unique skills and talents of each individual.

Give people as much of a chance as you would like to be given.  Even if you have the worst life ever, how does ruining someone else's help you?  If anything, you should do your best to give them the best, and in turn you may gain something from it.  A friend, perhaps, or even a chance to make up for the good life you lost.  Don't tell someone they can't.  Don't berate someone for wanting to get their ideas out on the basis that it "isn't respectful".  Radicals are my idols.  They go against what others say, no matter what others say, and work their hardest to get what they want.  You may say it's greedy, and all I can say back is why don't you do something about it?  Or maybe you think it's below you?  Demeaning?  Well, you're no better than any other person.  The hobo on the street corner has as much a right to have what you have.  Nothing's too good or too bad, too hard to do something about.    If a child washes his hands he can eat with kings.  Everyone has just as much of a right to their hopes and dreams as you do.  Don't make it harder than it already is for someone to leave their own mark on the world.

I think I'm agnostic. I dont know if u can write that on the PSAT or not, but that's what I am...

so I basically told my mom today that I dont believe in god, or at least not the catholic god and ideals, and I feel so twisted inside right now it feels so weird I thought I would feel good finally saying it but truthfully I'm scared that things will be weird now ahhhhhhh

ahh why is this world so confusing

I can't concentrate...
oh well. These are my confessions of a catholic turned agnostic (not atheist. There's a difference)

I feel like kids are forced to be catholic because of baptism and the expectations of their parents.

I hate Christianity and its arrogance. Seriously, I do not want to go up to a random person and tell them that their religion is wrong and that Christianity is the only good religion and then go home and pray for their pitiful lives that will never reach salvation. You know how stupid I think everyone sitting in the pews next to me is for agreeing with the priest with that? Ugh. Its not even religion anymore. Its RUDE and it goes against my moral standards.

I apologize to all Catholics. But I do not like the catholic arrogance. Narcissism. Humph.

I dont mind believing in a god, as long as I dont feel like I'm forced to. And the thing is...religion seems kinda pointless to me right now...i believe that religion was created to explain the unknown, and truthfully, we're running out of unknowns it needs to explain. Now all I see it as is a source of comfort, and I don't mind that. But if anyone tries to evangelize to me about the superiority of their religion I will slap then.

I'm not going to say any religion is wrong. I just think there are parts of it that I disagree with, and I bet everyone does. So dont bother me and I won't bother you.

ugh I dont know what will happen now...