Celebrity Bachelorette

This is actually quite fun to write, mostly because it's really just me ranting in the form of a story...

I'm a prodigy.  I made my debut at 7, and went head first into the celebrity world.  I fell in --and out of-- love.  Tragic story, undoubtedly one that will delight my grand kids when I'm an old granny knitting by the fireplace.  But that's a different story.  This story is about me.  And my frustrations.  Right.  Now.

Because I've just been selected for the newest round of "Bachelorette".

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So, my manager decided it was high time for me to get a boyfriend.  Seventeen and single just doesn't have that certain ring to it, he said.  I disagree.  They both start with "s", don't they?  It sounds much better than "seventeen and trapped" or "seventeen and wanting to die".  Especially after that incident.

Of course, the poor celebrity never has a say in such matters, and now I'm the first Bachelorette who wholeheartedly is trying her best--to not get a boyfriend.

It's a nice show, really.  I just love watching those knights in shining armor battling it out for the hand of the stricken maiden.  Knights in shining armor?  For me?  Bah, humbug, I'd rather find myself a warty toad prince than have a ton of celeb heart throbs--because that's definitely what they'll be, I'm a prodigy, remember?--trying for my hand.